The Randomness of Suzumiya Haruhi
by twilightwanderer
Summary: Haruhi decides to drag everyone to the fair. However, strange things start happening when they enter a Haunted House. Is this Haruhi's doing? Or is there someone else behind it?


AN: I've seen every episode and have handy all that's available of the books. After studying the style, I think I got it down pretty decently. If not, please feel free to make suggestions. I love reviews and constructive criticism. This is the first _Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu_ fic I've ever written. I just came to me one night and since I've been in a two-year writer's block funk, I decided to go with it. Hope you enjoy "The Randomness of Suzumiya Haruhi."

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Usually when asked "how's life?" or "what's happening" most senior high school student – or any human for that matter - would reply, "it's fine" or "nothing much." Well, as much I would like to be among the masses, life is anything but normal or fine as long as Suzumiya Haruhi has her way.

From scouring Tokyo for any 'mysteries' to playing detective on a 'deserted island with a killer,' from making movies to playing a sudden game of baseball against a professional college team, my life has come far from "boring" since she walked in the classroom. But it seems that's just my opinion.

Life continues to be mundane for Haruhi. With no sign of her aliens, time travelers, or espers, things just couldn't get any worse! Except if she'd actually listen for once and believe me, she's got all three conveniently at her mercy 5 days a week. With me being normal, I guess I'm just talking air. But with her being "god" and all, with "superior abilities" and a heightened knack of getting what she wants, you'd think she'd realize it after six months.

Yet, she never did believe me. When I did tell her, she stared at me blankly and said, "Are you an idiot? It can't be that easy." All my time and courage in placing her endlessly-sought dream right in front of her, gone – smashed against the window like a fly without a chance. When I protested its validity, she just tapped her pencil apparently annoyed at my confession and went back to deciphering alien signals in the clouds.

However, for a reason unknown even to myself, I return to the club room every day after school accompanied by the alien, the time-traveler, and the esper, all whom continue to be oblivious in Haruhi's deductions. Oh well, I'll get a kick when she does realize I was right all along.

It's the end of the world. It must be. Are there meteors raining down? Or is the Intregated Data Sentient Entity planning to overthrow the earth after eons of tiresome observation? Or is the sky falling?

Why you ask do I think humanity as we know it will end?

Because Suzumiya Haruhi...just might be…

Normal.

I was contently playing mahjong with Nagato, who surprisingly decided to put down the sacred 5-in thick, hardback book for a change. As usual, however, Asahina-san happily brewed tea as part of her maid duties. She adjusted her little lace headdress before handing me a warmed cup along with a cheerful smile. With Itsuki off at work, just me alone with these two lovely - not to mention quiet – girls, it was like heaven.

Of course I must cherish moments like these. As you know, peace never lasts long in the S.O.S. Brigade.

As if on cue, Haruhi slammed open the door with the force of a typhoon, nearly taking it off its hinges. Her eyes dazzled with a hidden plot. Immediately I was concerned, knowing she had something planned under that confident grin.

Sigh. Great, here we go with another misadventure. Hopefully it'll be better than the time we searched for mutant sewer rats. Not only was it a complete failure, but it stank…literally. So did we when we finally got out of that revolting hellhole.

Anything would be better than that. It had to be. Please.

As I was chanting for good results at a speed nearly on par with Nagato, Haruhi finally proclaimed her epiphany. She shoved a poster in our faces, a blur of lively colors, before smacking it on the table. Even the mahjong pieces jumped.

I peered in for a closer look. It was an advertisement for the fall fair. Obvious by the tear straight through it and the messy tape job, she had ripped it off the minute she saw it.

I was surprised. The fair? It sounded too normal to be true. There must be a catch.

Asahina-san seemed very happy with the idea, though unsure what she intended. "Y-You want to go to the fair, Suzumiya-san? It sounds like a lot of fun."

Meanwhile, expressionless Nagato showed no interest whatsoever but busied herself with putting the pieces back in their places with remarkable efficiency - not surprising.

"Of course it'll be fun!" Haruhi snapped, causing Asahina-san to cringe. "See." Her slender fingers jabbed at a possessed clown. "It even has a horror funhouse. Weird things are bound to happen in a place like that."

I crossed my arms, glad for once it was a sane idea. "Great. But do you have tickets?"

Haruhi scowled at me, her eyes glinting as wicked as that clown.

Why did I have to open my big fat mouth? My wallet is always the one that suffers for it. Man.

So instead toasting by our brand-new heater, I got stuck in the fair ticket line this chilly October afternoon. My layered jacket's of no use, but at least the hike down the hill got me warmed…until I got to the station. Now idle, I can't even feel my toes - or if I have toes presently for that matter.

Sneeze. I hope I'm not getting sick…or maybe that'd be a good thing. Hm. They say when you sneeze, someone's talking about you. Worse case scenario Haruhi's slighting me. Or maybe it's Asahina-san's who's wondering about me and whether I'm freezing to death and worried that she should have given me her scarf. Oh the possibilities.

A shove from behind knocked me back into reality. The line had already moved 6 paces while I was daydreaming. Thankfully, no one had cut in front of me…at least not to my knowledge.

Ahead of me, I noticed the waving figures of Taniguchi and Kunikida at the counter. Once they were done, they came running over.

"Hey, you're going to?" Taniguichi asked with a sly look. He nudged me deep in the rib. "With Haruhi I bet, right?"

I winced. Ow! "Not just her."

"I'm surprised that she's acting kinda normal." Kunikida muttered.

You're not the only one.

"It's a first. Good job, Kyon. You've changed a woman! Too bad it's Suzumiya. You have my sympathies." Taniguichi bowed then started to jog off. "Well, see ya at the fair."

Kunikida followed suit and I stayed in line another 10 minutes before I finally made it to the booth.

So off I go with tickets in tow. She better not change her mind after this. These are nonrefundable!

The minute I walked it they were immediately snatched from my numbed fingers by a greedy gremlin. Thankfully it was considerate enough to leave one within my grasp. What the? Since when was she so accurate!

Ignoring my silent bafflement, Haruhi turned from gremlin to fairy and proceeded to dance around the room placing one before each member until she was down to 3. She happily slapped one on her desk then marveled at the two left. "Why are there two? One's for Koizumi-kun, but who's the extra one for?"

I had gotten 6 tickets total and obviously Haruhi wanted to know why I wasted my good money.

Simple. Since I didn't carry enough money on me for 5 people, I had to stop home. My younger sister, amazed that I was home early, wanted to know the reason I was fumbling through my drawers instead of wasting time at school. I tried to weasel my way out of an explanation but she found out anyways because of the directions to the ticket booth sticking out of my pocket. She begged to go and our Mom said it was ok. So we're stuck with her.

Asahina-san smoothed the wrinkles from her dress. I guess she was assaulted while I was gone. She looked up at me shyly and admitted, "I don't mind. I really like your little sister."

"Yah," Haruhi heartily agreed, "It's good to have another girl on our team to go against you boys."

You outnumber us already. But this was going to be a hassle if I ever wanted a minute to myself…or with Asahina-san. Man!

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AN: It's only a first draft of the prologue. There's** much** more to come. This is going to be fun. Enjoy fellow S.O.S. Brigade members! 


End file.
